earth to brain: where are you?

darkblue · Date: May 15 9:46 AM, 2010

RE: earth to brain: where are you?

baaaby raven · Friend

I cut off everyone's head 'cause I don't wanna be stalked, but the middle one is me. :)

Prom was so much fun! I went last year, and it sucked. No one danced, and only like half the grade went. This year, everyone went and our class is pretty decent. I danced my as.s off! hhahah

Afterwards, I went to my friend's house with a little group of people. 'Twas fun.

I felt like prom was an out of body experience though. ahah Like, it's such a big deal and every little girl dreams of it (I think) and it actually happened. Weird.

Anyway, I stayed home sick today. My leg is sore as f.uck, too.... danced too hard maybe? hahahahha

baaaby raven · Friend

OH and Val- my community service is in New York. Every year my mom and I go down to the city and feed and just generally hang out with the homeless people. It's so much fun!

darkblue · Date: May 17 4:16 PM, 2010

i love your dress!

baaaby raven · Friend

ahhh shank youuu

DramaQueen · Friend

Your dress is so cute! Glad you had fun at prom, sounds like it was a really good night :)
I've always wanted to experience an American Prom...

baaaby raven · Friend

Thanks girlll. You guys have prom in England right?

DramaQueen · Friend

No, we had 6th form (the last two years of school) Christmas Balls then a Leavers Ball for just our year but that's it. I suppose in a way they're kind of similar... as in we get dressed up and dance and have fun :)

baaaby raven · Friend

Hmmm interesting!

omfg caro · Friend

my prom sucked, and after prom was okkay.
and sounds like you had fun :)

baaaby raven · Friend

Haven't been on in awhile; LOTS is going on.

First of all, I have exams... which are makin' me stressed. Secondly, my parents are stressing me out. I was supposed to go see my dad this summer, and I still can, but I don't wanna fly alone. I told him that and he was cool with it- he was gonna have his girlfriend's son fly with me. What he failed to tell me was that the kid already bought his ticket, no refunds, and my mom won't let me fly out of where he's flying out of... so I'm flying alone. I'm so angry 'cause my dad knew this was the case, but he didn't tell me ahead of time- he waited until the kid already bought the tickets. errrrrrrg

I'm scared.

Also, since my parents don't talk.. I have to be the middle-man, the messenger, if you will, to tell each of them what's going on. Not cool.. nor is that fair.

School's done in about a week though, and I BOUGHT A CAR. So, those two things are lovely, lovely, lovely! But otherwise ehhhh

Sorry for the length.. :)

baaaby raven · Friend

too low to find my way, too high to wonder why

i've touched this place before somewhere in another time.

I got a Subaru Legacy, Val. :) He's a beaut.

Sooooo I'm terrified for this trip to California:

When I'm not with my dad I tend to think of his negative aspects, but when I'm with him it's just like we're hanging out & everything's fun. I don't want to build everything up, though, because I tend to be optimistic about things he will do- and then he lets me down.

My boyfriend told me that I should try changing my view of my and my dad's dynamic; change it to more of a friendship than a father-daughter relationship. He says that may take some stress and disappointment away. But how do I go about changing it? Any ideas?

storii · BFFL

maybe not expecting much from him, nor expecting him to expect anything from you.

baaaby raven · Friend

I'm back from California!

And it wasn't as bad as I thought. I was dreading it because I hadn't seen my dad in so long, but it turned out to be so much fun. It was good to see him. I got upset a few times because he and his girlfriend were sometimes affectionate but then I just talked to his girlfriend's son about it and all was well. We went to San Francisco a couple times, Lake Tahoe and Santa Cruz. Aye!

Now I have my own predicament--I'm thinking about breaking up with my boyfriend. Ayyyyeee (I have a post up in the relationship section if you want to help/want to know about the situation)

omfg caro · Friend

glad you had fun :)

storii · BFFL

yay i'm glad it turned out for the best for you :)

baaaby raven · Friend

shankkkks girls :)

baaaby raven · Friend

I feel like such a b.itch, such a... villain. I broke up with Reilly on Friday technically. He didn't say much though so he asked to see me today and talk about things. I knew he had false hope, but I decided to listen to his side of things. I just don't like him anymore and I'm not ready for a relationship (and I never was, but I figured I'd give him a shot). I told him all that, and he still doesn't understand. He's so heartbroken and I feel insanely guilty.

Ughhhhfksafhla

omfg caro · Friend

you did what is best for you, sometimes you have to be selfish.

baaaby raven · Friend

Yeah, I guess you're right.. :/

baaaby raven · Friend

ughhh I feel like I'm going nowhere and I'm angry

All this **** I have to do for college.. I'm not seeing a payoff yet and I feel like it's not gonna happen and I feel like I'm not going to get into college or anything.

The boyfriend I just recently broke up with is hanging out with my best friend all the time lately, too, which I hate. I know she wouldn't do anything/doesn't think of him like that but still... it's annoying.

DramaQueen · Friend

I'm glad things worked out okay with seeing your dad, that must have been quite nice to talk to his girlfriend's son as you're probably feeling similar things.

Also dont feel guilty about your boyfriend, a similar thing happened to me and I felt so bad not being ready for a relationship with this guy and he just made me feel so guilty. Then I realised I had actually not done anything wrong. Hopefully he''ll understand and realise it was for the best.

DOnt worry about College stuff, I'm sure everything you're doing will be worth while in the end!! Good Luck :)

Sorry just read and commented on your last three posts all at one time :P

baaaby raven · Friend

I'm so freakin' confused. College has got me so stressed/anxious.. like it's always in the back of my head and I find that inconvenient. But I don't know how to make the constant worry stop.

Also, I've been hanging out with my friends, who are girls, lately, and now they aren't inviting me to shiit. I got a last minute invite to some party thing and then they all hung out yesterday- they all told me about it- yet I wasn't invited. This is why I don't get too attached to many girls. I get fu.ucked over a lot by them.

I'm not sure how to handle that though. I planned something for tomorrow with all of them, but now I don't even feel like going; I feel like they don't want me there so I should just cut them to the chase, you know? I'm not sure if they're talking badly about me or if there is even a reason I'm not invited to this kind of stuff. If anyone can offer some advice upon this matter, that would be awesome. I haven't dealt with this shhit since like 7th grade.............