And the disco ball comes crashing down for me;

unlike some people, my new years eve wasn't spent getting wasted and trashed (to much disappointment). Nah, I spent it with my brother and dad playing board games and then after my parents went to bed we watched 9 and Up. 9 was okay, but Up was one of the cutest movies I have ever seen. So many times I wanted to cry but I knew my brother would make fun of me if I did >.<, whatta hoe.

And tomorrow is my friend Hunter's birthday, so hopefully he'll do something =/ For some reason I have these weird feelings about him. Like he's a reaaally cool guy and I like spending time with him and we get along fairly well. We're closer in some ways than others cause me and him can have a good time. Like our trip to six flags, we talked about who we'd hook up with and how and when etc and it wasn't awkward, no actually I kind of wanted to jump his bones. And then during his christmas party... (: hahaha wow that was fun, someone was doing Sweet Carolina for karaoke and jokingly I was like, hey hunter, wanna dance? So we like slow danced in front of ALL of our friends and ALL of the adults.

It was cute, we get along (: but, like, I don't want a relationship with him. If it went to anything more than friendship it'd be friends with benefits. and he's the type of guy who I know would hook up with a girl spontaneously, he went out with this girl emma who really liked him so he could hook up with her. but he was nice and broke up with her before he hurt her like that much to the convincing of us. but i want that relationship, to hook up and feel no emotional attachment whatsoever.

and on the other hand, school starts monday, fuuck my life. but actually I'm kind of excited since the first two weeks coming back from winter break is winterim for the entire upper school, which is basically freshmen and sophmores take up four new classes [block schedule] everyday for two weeks. it's soooo much fun. last year i had movies you've never seen before which was basically watching movies everyday, fair trade 101 [didn't sign up for it but it was okay] and science olympiad which was sit on my ass and do nothing. and i got my schedule for this year and i have fencing, teen reads, what media teaches you about race, fantastic fractals [so exciited for this!] and then juniors and seniors do something else, like go on trips or intern somewhere for two weeks. it's awesome i love it and cant wait :)

I miss my brother =/ he left like an hour ago to go back to knoxville where he has collegeee. rawrr. blah, he's one of my favorites. we'd be playing board games every night with my dad and that was SUPER fun it was like family time :) and then sleep in until 3 PM and he'd open my door and start to make farting noises LOL, he's like it's your wake up call. <3 hahaha i love my brothers :) he does everything unimaginable. you'd figure we wouldnt get along but he's sweet :) i needed something last minute for a wedding and since i myself wasnt able to go, he went into dillards, girls section, to get it. i was lifrengkjn i love you. and he goes dress shopping with me ^^ and he pays for stuff <3 love him. blah i really wish they could just live here.

I don't know why --

seriously, fu.ck you naz, just FU.CK YOU.

kjnkrngkjrengnkreglkjngn

boys are gay.