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CLIQUE: the official website! -> Blogs -> Because I'm going to see how far I can go before I have to stop.
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TOPIC: Because I'm going to see how far I can go before I have to stop.
zombieblonde


Sometimes I make a funny face to make you think I'm ok.

Status: Offline
Posts: 789
Date: Jan 26 3:26 PM, 2010
RE: Because I'm going to see how far I can go before I have to stop.
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gossip.png
I may say it was your fault because I know you could have done more.
Oh you're so naive, how could this be done by such a smiling sweetheart?


I'm so tired of everyone. There is only two people in my life that I know I can confide in, who will listen and understand, who won't betray my trust, who won't lie to me. The first person is myself. The second is one of my greatest friends, Naseefa. I love her so much, If I didn't have her in my life I'm pretty sure I would hate my life that much more.
My supposed best friend Sarah keeps disappointing me. It's like she doesn't really care. On New Years Eve I snuck out and went to a party, got totally trashed, and drunk texted her. She's pretty much a goody-two shoes so I was expecting a long lecture from her about it but instead she ignored the situation completely. Or so I thought. The day we got back to school my sister (who has first period with Sarah) told me that Sarah said to her, "I heard Brittany snuck out with some random guys she met and got wasted, is that true?"
WHAT THE FUUCK? I confronted her about it the next day and she flat out denied it. "Amanda (my sister) must of heard me wrong, I never said any of that." Yes, because my sister just made up the truth. That makes sense.
Then on Sunday evening I was on facebook and my friend Dalton messaged me, "OMG Christian is gay???" Christian is one of my best friends who happens to be in the closet. He has only told me, his other "friend" Sara-Margaret (biggest skank bitch ever), and his mom. I asked Dalton what he was talking about and he was like, "my friend told me and she found out from Sara-Margaret." I called Christian to warn him and it turns out that a week ago people started coming up to him telling him that Sara-Margaret told them that Christian was gay. Apparently she's been telling the whole school for months! He asked her about it and she lied saying she had no idea about it and accused Christian of not trusting her.
I swear the people I know need to get over themselves. I always hated Sara-Margaret. She always talks shiit about me, but this put me over the edge. Who tells a secret that big? So not right. For revenge I'm starting a rumor that she has herpes. Although I wouldn't exactly call it a rumor because she's that much of a slut it's probably true. Even her boyfriend knows she cheats on him all the time, he just never breaks up with her because he knows he can't do any better. Fight fire with fire babyyy.



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darkblue




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Posts: 524
Date: Jan 26 6:10 PM, 2010
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:( that girl is a biitch. SHE BETTER HAVE HERPES.

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I loved you.
Gray sweatpants
No makeup
So perfect
baaaby raven


Friend

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Posts: 323
Date: Jan 26 6:42 PM, 2010
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Whaaaaaaaaaaattta biitch. I'm so sorry Brittany- none of that sounds like any fun :( good luck

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heartcorekiss


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Posts: 312
Date: Jan 26 6:44 PM, 2010
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People really suck, big time. I'm sorry that you have to deal with that.

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Trust me, for you I'm trouble.
zombieblonde


Sometimes I make a funny face to make you think I'm ok.

Status: Offline
Posts: 789
Date: Jan 26 9:31 PM, 2010
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Thanks guys. Yeah it's really draining me of positive energy. I feel like every day something bad happens that's out of my control. You can't imagine the anger I have for S-M after what she did. Poor Christian. =(

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zombieblonde


Sometimes I make a funny face to make you think I'm ok.

Status: Offline
Posts: 789
Date: Jan 27 3:06 PM, 2010
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And it's not a cry that you hear at night, it's not somebody who's seen the light. It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah.


I kinda really hate my life right now. Not in the "oh feel bad for me, I have insignificant problems that I'll get over in a couple days" kind of way. More in the sense that I feel like I need psychiatric help. Everyday spent with my lunatic family and conceited frenemies I am beginning to suffocate more and more. I think that if I don't get out now that the current state of my downhill spiral life will spin even more out of control. I feel helpless, trapped in a life I don't want to live, a life where my choices hold no value. I've got to get out of here before I'm too far gone, if it's not too late already.
I cannot end up like my mother and not even settle, but have no other options. I strive for success. I want to travel the world. Find true love. Write best-selling novels. Do something crazy fun and not care about the consequences. Raise a family. Move far away from Florida. Have better relationships with my sisters. Come to terms with my father's passing. Do something totally selfless. Paint a decent picture, even though I have no artistic ability. Scream on the top of my lungs in public. Have faith in something. Be genuinely happy.
If only all that were possible. Right now I don't think it is, but I'm going to try to be optimistic. How else am I going to survive?



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baaaby raven


Friend

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Posts: 323
Date: Jan 27 4:44 PM, 2010
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Those are awesome goals! I'm right there with ya.
Only two more years for you though.. I think? And then you can be set freeeee so stick it out!

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zombieblonde


Sometimes I make a funny face to make you think I'm ok.

Status: Offline
Posts: 789
Date: Jan 27 4:55 PM, 2010
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Thank the lord I graduate next year, haha.

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darkblue




Status: Offline
Posts: 524
Date: Jan 27 6:20 PM, 2010
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mee tooo, i need to get out of highschool/my parents house.
never coming back from college. ever. except for laundry and food.
but hopefully things turn around for ya, but I LOVE YOU. so hopefully that helps ahhaha

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I loved you.
Gray sweatpants
No makeup
So perfect
zombieblonde


Sometimes I make a funny face to make you think I'm ok.

Status: Offline
Posts: 789
Date: Jan 27 6:29 PM, 2010
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I LOVE YOU TOO GURRRL. haha, that does help actually.
yeah i'm just gonna go to my grams house for food and laudry help.

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darkblue




Status: Offline
Posts: 524
Date: Jan 27 6:34 PM, 2010
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or i'll be like jersey shore, GTL, gym, tanning, laundry. when i get home aahahah.

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I loved you.
Gray sweatpants
No makeup
So perfect
zombieblonde


Sometimes I make a funny face to make you think I'm ok.

Status: Offline
Posts: 789
Date: Jan 27 6:35 PM, 2010
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hell yusss, gtl is my life.

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omfg caro


Friend

Status: Offline
Posts: 198
Date: Jan 27 8:31 PM, 2010
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:(

just think of it this way, your a junior and after this semester you have ONE more year left
just don't care about the drama, don't care who likes you or not
and just live
the chances of ever seeing some of these people again, are kind of slim if you go away to college
enjoy it with friends who you can trust, and screw the rest.


& screaming at the top of my lungs makes me feel better :)

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now, the party don't start 'til i walk in
zombieblonde


Sometimes I make a funny face to make you think I'm ok.

Status: Offline
Posts: 789
Date: Jan 27 8:32 PM, 2010
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thanks caro :)
&&screaming is the best to relieve stress.

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omfg caro


Friend

Status: Offline
Posts: 198
Date: Jan 27 8:44 PM, 2010
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yes just do it :)
one time i was so mad at my friends i screamed into my pillow
and it's just a relief from all the built up feelings

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now, the party don't start 'til i walk in
zombieblonde


Sometimes I make a funny face to make you think I'm ok.

Status: Offline
Posts: 789
Date: Jan 27 8:51 PM, 2010
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Yeah, it lets it all out. I did it earlier today, felt goooood. :)

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DramaQueen


Friend

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Posts: 427
Date: Jan 30 12:12 PM, 2010
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i know it was a few days ago you posted that, but coming back to uni has been so hectic i'm just catching up with things on here... so i hope you're feeling better about life now...
I dont really know what else to say as i know i find it hard to be optimistic all the time (well most of the time)... But yeah just keep looking forward to the good things in life, like going off to college and trying to do things like being closer to your sisters :)


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It's like one great big 'Skins' Party...
zombieblonde


Sometimes I make a funny face to make you think I'm ok.

Status: Offline
Posts: 789
Date: Jan 31 3:13 PM, 2010
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Thanks Annie :))
Yeah I'm feeling a bit better about things...

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