Haha never thought of studying that way before, but it is true!
Oh, and I love the title of your bloggy. :)

(215): winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am. - TFLN



15.12.09
entry 1.

I cant believe I have a psychology exam in less than 24 hours and I am reading TFLN...
Since I came back from home after being ill, nothing that interesting has happened.
The night I got back - a week today actually... we were going to go out. I started drinking way too early and never made it out... Which sucks because we had tickets to where the guy i really like ended up :( and now he's back home for xmas till end of January :(
Went into his room to find him and the other guy i like was in there - god knows what I said.

I'm surprisingly more excited to be back here next semester than xmas. I dont know why really.. except for the fact it'll be new modules and a whole new start again, so a few weeks before proper work actually has to get done.
New years resolutions for next semester:

-Do the lecture reading as i get it
-Dont leave Geog work till the day before...
-Stop getting with randomers and find a boyfriend perhaps?!
-Go to the gym at least once a week (i paid over £100 this semester and went twice...ooops)
-Go check out the dance school in the town.
-Go to all ballet and fitness classes.
-No more pizza or eating at random hours.

i LOVE texts from last night. i read those for hours last night when I was supposed to be doing my chem homeworkk...

hate all-nighters. GOOD LUCK THOUGH. exams always ruin my life.

oh man i need to start going to the gym too
i'm putting on weight :/
haven't been feeling motivated lately

Ha, I love reading your blogs. Just saying.
Oh and happy holidays. :P

If you knew how lonely my life has been
And how long I've been so alone
And if you knew how I wanted someone to come along
And change my life the way you've done



20.12.09
entry 3.

Another entry on the same day... you can tell i'm unbelievably bored. I've written 800 words out of 2500 on my essay... Oh crap.
Tried talking to my friends on facebook, but they all seem too wrapped up in their lives to care much now they're home... so sitting in my room feeling very sorry for myself :P
I guess I should get on with this essay, or tidy my room... I need some place to hide my vodka before my mum picks me up tomorrow...

Something I very much dislike about Spotify, i'm listening to some great songs and suddenly they stick an advert right in the middle and breaks my concentration on this essay (which is not much to do with the title.. haha)
I've yet to start christmas shopping... pretty broke though right now to be honest. Managed to blow £700 in one month... god knows what on!

I've decided, i think uni has changed me, I feel a lot more ready for a relationship now. Before i was worried, with the whole relationship and commitment thing. I was worried i wouldnt be loyal at parties and things... :/
But now i really think I want someone, not just a passing hook up one night, but someone I can just spend my days with and talk about anything. I feel lonely, I mean not just now because everyone has left but even when i'm around loads of friends, i dont know how to explain it...

Maybe it's because there is so many hot guys about now! haha.
My flat mate, his friend, a guy a few flats down, a guy in my geog lectures, two guys in my psych lectures, that guy i got with and saw the other day...
I mean there is only two, possibly 3 i could say i like because of who they are rather than the others who i'm just attracted to for their looks... I've never even talked to one ahaha. He was next to me in exams :P
Oh just too many boys about.
I just dont think i have a chance with any...
and all my friends seem to be coming home with boyfriends :/

-- Edited by DramaQueen on Sunday 20th of December 2009 05:46:58 PM

What about taking this cup and filling it,
With a little bit more of innocence, I haven't had enough.



27.12.09
entry 4.

My mum is driving me CRAZY! She is constantly getting annoyed at me for no reason and making it seem as if it's all my fault. Like i'll be sitting saying nothing and she'll make some comment about it. Or about my weight gain. Ugh.
Now i can hear her talking about me again to my gran.

Christmas was nice though, went to my grans for lunch and then just watched xmas tv. Didnt feel at all christmassy though, so it's strange it's over for another year. I'll be going to see my other grandparents in england soon which will be nice - take a break from here!!

I actually really want to go back to uni - if it wasnt for a few of my of friends here.
OMG a realllllly creepy guy came into my work the other day. And then i thought he was just being nice and we were chatting... then it got scary. He wouldnt leave and kept asking more and more personal questions and then said can i give you my number so you can call.. and i was like hellll no. And i wouldnt give him mine, then he got even weirder and kept staring at me and ugghh i'm now so paranoid about it. He was like I WILL see you again... :/
I'm kinda scared to go back to work.

that's really creepy. hopefully you never see him again ahaha.

well are there usually others who occupy the store like customers?

yeaaah truuee. :D haha it's okayy until he does something REALLY drastic i dont think theres any need to worry about it. people do that kind of stuff as jokes =/ it's really annoying.

All I really want to do is love you,
A kind much closer than friends use,
But I still cant say it after all we've been through.



3.1.10
entry 5.

New years eve was really fun. I decided to stay at one of the guys houses I was invited to rather than going to the other black tie event as it just worked out easier.
I went to my friends house first then we got a lift to his early because they're cousins. We played beer pong with his older brother and friends (though with a sh*t mix of god knows what rather than beer) and then people started arriving our age and all in all it was a really good night.
Didnt get with anyone, or even kiss anyone at midnight - but i dont really mind. I've decided for once I actually want them to mean something to me. Not let's just have some fun and get with some person i dont know... which is normally how i rolllll.

Went to town last night to just see some people who I didnt see on new years and who will be leaving soon. Was a pretty fn night despite me not staying out really late. We just went to this bar we always do and chatted and met people really.

I've had so many comments about how people think I look better now i've gained weight. ugh i really dont like it. But anyways they seem to think I look better with some more weight on me. I dont know... i dont think it's the weight that bothers me I think it's because i've lost so much muscle tone, i need to get fitter again. I missed so many dance classes at the end of the year for being ill and they are no where near as difficult as what i was doing before the summer so it kinda sucks... oh well this semester will be a new challenge.