Never let you fall apart, together we'll dance in the dark.
It may be a little early but I have a new year's resolution that I'm going to put into action right now. I'm tired of always waiting around for things to get better in my life, hoping that change is just on the horizon. But I've realized something. To make a difference in my life, to be truly happy, the pursuit of that happiness is what will make that difference. I am going to do whatever it takes to live life to the fullest. Risk-taking is going to be my new passion. Because I'm going to see how far I can go before I have to stop.
I am running out of words to say to you, wondering why i'm wasting my time. Thinking back and wondering why i'm such a fool for loving you.
I love winter break. I've been so busy but in the best ways. I've gone ice skating with friends (I didn't fall on my butt once!), went to a WWE Smackdown/ECW match with my bff and her bro (it was surprisingly fun), and been doing lots of last-minute Christmas shopping. But there is one bad thing. I miss him, so much. Not seeing his face every day puts a frown on my face. What makes me even more upset is the fact that he hasn't called me at all, or even texted me. As if I'm barely a blip on his radar.
And there's a part of me that still believes my soul will soar above the trees.
Christmas was good, got some cool stuff. Now I'm just in that lazy state you get after consuming nothing but sugar and getting gifts. I'm really excited, tomorrow I go to Tennessee to visit my grandparents, aunt and uncle, and cousins. The only thing that really sucks is the fact my sister who lives in California won't be able to make it because she's been in the hospital for the past week. Turns out her kidney was sending bacteria to her heart and she had to get surgery. She's a lot better now, but the doctors won't let her out for another week. :( Also my grandpa won't make it home either because he flew out to take care of her because the only other person out there with her is her super sweet boyfriend Mike. I was really looking forward to meeting him finally. Oh well. Lately I've been having the worst writer's block. I really want to write a story and actually complete it for once. And hopefully post it on here after I've written a lot. The thing is I've got the general idea in mind but whenever I sit down to write...nothing comes out. It's so frustrating. But i'm going to keep trying, I have to get past it some how.
yeah i have a tremendous writing block right now too. i had this great idea last night and today i sat down to write but like... i must have ADD or something. and i'm currently writing a novella for hpff and i have the first chapter up but i cant seem to write the rest of it. it's quite annoying.
but sad for your sister ): if it were my brothers i'd be paranoid cause i care for them a lot. my parents would probably find a straight ticket there and be paranoid about it too :P my om would.
When they wake up twist and turn, feel my insides bubble and burn. Constant conversations with my self, goddamn this isn't fair.
A journal entry on December 30, 2009. I think the absence of computer access aside from five minutes yesterday has caused me to write in this journal a lot more than I would normally. It is a really cute journal, by the way. It’s based off of Breakfast at Tiffany’s and Audrey Hepburn, my absolute idol. My bff Sarah got it for me. Sometimes I get frustrated with her flaws but in reality, she’s truly the best friend I’ve ever had, I love her. So, I’m in Tennessee. I feel like I’m in the twilight zone or something. It is really stunning; it kind of reminds me of New Jersey which means TN is definantly on my good side. On the other hand, I feel like I’m in a suburbia horror movie due to the fact that I have to drive 30 minutes to get to any sort of civilization. Since arriving, I’ve mostly been relaxing with my grandma during the day and going to my aunt’s house in the evening to play with my little cousins. For Christmas the eldest girl, who is almost nine, got a cell phone! That’s a bit crazy to me; whom could she possibly be calling? However, I guess I got mine when I was almost twelve so it’s not such a stretch. Yesterday a good thing happened to one sister and a bad thing happened to the other sister. My older sis who was in the hospital-her lung started to collapse so they wouldn’t release her for another week-is finally much better. They just released her but she can’t come to TN to visit just in case she gets sick again. They’ve got her on tons of medication but as long as she gets better is all that matters. My other sis, the one that lives with me, got sick today though. At first, it seemed like just a cold but it got worse. Apparently, the combination of her cold and dog hair from my aunt’s three pugs caused an asthma attack. My aunt and gram took her to the doctors and it turns out that her oxygen level was at 94% when it should be 100%. They had to give her a shot in her hip, hook her up to a nebulizer to help her breathe, do x-rays on her lungs, and cotton swab her nose to check for H1N1, eww. She’s okay now; they gave her a new inhaler and some medicine. My overdramatic grandma even brought home surgical masks. Oh, brother. What was I doing during all this? I was stuck with baby-sitting duty for six kids under nine years old and as young as two. It was like a dream come true. Although my uncle got home about an hour before my sis got back, but did he do anything? Of course not. He sat on his lazy ass in the living room with a beer in hand and watched football. Typical male. All the while, I was still forced to play freeze tag and simon says in which I was tackled numerous times. I love kids.
Because technology is so important these days, it seems really young kids are using it. And that's good about your one sister, she'll keep getting better I hope :) And your other sister, that sounds exactly like my friend Jen. She was hospitalized for a week because of her asthma. But she's fine now, so I bet your sister will be too.
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You're not quite there, you're not on my level. Trust me, for you I'm trouble.
Glad both your sisters seem to be getting well again! I had to have a lung xray recently when i had to come home from uni ill cuz they didnt know what was wrong.. they thought it could have been TB!
I love looking after little kids :) you're lucky you got to be with your little cousins.